ArrowsInk

Category: The Examined Life

If you are looking for answers….This place does not have any but it’s where I wrestle with difficult ideas.

  • A New Year’s Reflection: One Step at a Time

    A New Year’s Reflection: One Step at a Time

    Another year has passed and with it come the opportunity of starting our new year’s resolutions and working towards fresh goals. I love the idea of starting a new; be it a new month or even phase of our life. It portrays something that is often missing in our daily news or even in our daily conversations, Hope.

    While we cannot ignore the conditions of a troubled world, be it economic turmoil, geopolitical tensions, wars and famine. These challenges have been with us in varying degrees for as long as history has been recorded. We see them unfolding, but often it feels like nothing improves at least to the naked eye, sometimes giving the sense that there is no point continuing with the charade of everything being fine.

    But with the new year while new troubles may arise, new opportunities also extend their hands to us.

    I find it fitting that after the month of Christmas, the season of Love, Hope and Peace we enter the new year. It’s a reminder for us to carry those values into the new year. Christmas shows us that love means sacrifice, that hope can be found even in a humble manger and that peace is something we can all strive towards in interactions with the world around us.

    It’s not always easy. Personally, when I am slighted, my instinct is to defend myself, but I’ve learnt that taking a moment to pause before reaction helps a ton in clearing the mind. Small steps like this are part of why I enjoy entering the new year, even if we enter with simple resolutions like spending less time (5 mins or even 1 hour) on the mobile. Even that small change is progress.

    Often, when we look toward moving forward, we want progress to come quickly and results to appear instantly. But taking intentional steps in the present makes looking back at the path we’ve created all the more rewarding.

    Imagine walking on a sandy beach in haste, then walking on it with intention, taking in the ocean and life around you. Which set of footprints would be more striking?

    In The Screwtape Letters, a witty book by C.S Lewis that features two demons, Wormwood and Screwtape, exchanging letters on the best way to corrupt a soul, there is a salient quote from Screwtape. ‘For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity.’

    Many times, I forget the blessing that is the present day in search for something I may not find tomorrow or something that I may not need in search of my own greed and ambition.

    If there’s one thing to take away from this post, it’s this:

    Before the sun reaches its peak in the sky, it passes through the beauty of the sunrise, where not on the sun itself but everything the light touches, is admired. In the same way, living intentionally in each present moment can help us see both the world and ourselves more clearly.

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  • Correction vs. Conviction: The Outer Push, the Inner Pull

    Correction vs. Conviction: The Outer Push, the Inner Pull

    In today’s world, there are many discussions on rehabilitating people when they are radicalised or commit crimes. It led me to a question on what are the steps that one usually has to go through before rehabilitation is possible. I landed at two words, ‘Correction’ and ‘Conviction’.

    Before we get started let’s explore what each of these words mean:

    Corrections: Change that rectifies an error or inaccuracy or the action or process of correcting something.

    Conviction: A formal declaration by the verdict of a jury or the decision of a judge in a court of law that someone is guilty of a criminal offence or a firmly held belief or opinion.

    From the simplified definitions (thank you Google!) we can perceive the difference between the words. Correction is more of an external manifestation on making amends to ensure better performance or in some cases acceptable behaviour.

    Correction is important in helping us learn, grow and improve across our personal and professional lives. In a way, when one accepts correction, it may lead to increase self-worth and confidence, because it’s a reminder that no one is perfect.

    Conviction on the other hand, is more intrinsic. It provides internal strength to pursue our goals, overcome obstacles and maintain congruence in thought and action. Leading to greater personal growth and even building resilience. Strong convictions help to inspire trust in others, strengthen decision making and foster a sense of purpose and passion. It makes setbacks and obstacles no matter how daunting seem small when one is convicted in their belief or action.

    When I was writing this I realised that one is clearly more powerful than the other. If you are corrected or chastised, you may not always be convicted of your actions or behaviour. But if you are convicted on something, it comes hand in hand with being chastised or corrected which then shapes how you continue to journey through life.

    So where does this difference show up most clearly? I’ve noticed it in two very different groups: children and criminals. Both are often corrected, but the presence—or absence—of conviction makes all the difference.

    Children and Criminals: What is the difference?

    I know the header seems abit jarring but bear with me.

    Many of my close friends and family work with children. I always found it curious when I would see them correcting a child, it usually goes with (a) Shout or yelling to get their attention, (b) being pulled aside, (c) telling the child what they did was wrong and sometimes if you are lucky (d) Why it was wrong. Many times, as adults we stop at telling children ‘what’ but rarely go beyond to ‘why’.

    Maybe its because we assume that a young child would not understand the why, so we don’t bother telling them that till they’re older.

    But when will a child be old enough?

    The question I have lies more with the adults, why do we stop and not explain to children why their behaviour is bad, disruptive, rude (any of the above). While yes, I do think we should pick our battles, for a young child even putting out the ‘why’ makes a difference because it’s planting seeds into their minds and can make changes to their behaviour.

    Many times, as adults we get upset when we receive an apology that does not put into words ‘why’ we are receiving it.

    Case in point, pick which one you prefer:

    ‘I’m sorry for saying that, please forgive me’

    vs

    ‘I’m sorry for calling you that. It was hurtful and childish thing to do. I was being rude and inconsiderate for even using that term, I will do better, please forgive me’.

    The difference in an apology is the understanding of why. It is not simply the word ‘sorry’ that makes the difference.

    If as adults many of us struggle with accepting such apologies or lack of reasoning, why are we leaving children unequipped.

    Now for criminals we have the opposite problem.

    Many times, they are aware of social norms and rules on criminal activities. In a courtroom their crimes are detailed and explained to the jury or the judge and it is always presented with a motive (the why) in the courtroom.

    Playing devil advocate to myself, if the ‘why’ is needed—this is the perfect scenario— why are there repeat offenders occur. Its confusing especially when the consequences have been outlined and experienced.

    I like to think that despite the judge or jury passing a conviction, internally the person isn’t convicted. Ever heard the saying ‘you can bring the horse to water, but you can’t make it drink’. Well, this is the same.

    The beauty of conviction is that it is a double-edged sword. It is more effective than correction only when it is from within. Which means if I choose to justify my behaviour due to other external factors rather than accept that I had to power to choose my decision despite the circumstance, I will never be convicted.

    I can be corrected by people, I can explain and justify my actions, but I won’t be able to see the hurt or pain it caused, and neither will I be willing to accept that I became a perpetrator unless I am convicted.

    How do we continue evolving

    I know it’s an uncomfortable conversation to slowly peel yourself open to the possibility that there are a lot of things in life that makes you a cog in the machine and the same way the cog does not understand why you just go through the motions.

    But maybe the question isn’t which is more powerful, but how we can move from correction to conviction in our own lives. The next time we are corrected—whether as children, adults, or even in the quiet courtroom of our conscience—what if we paused long enough to ask: Do I just understand what I did wrong, or am I convicted enough to live differently?

    The answer may determine whether the lesson ends there.

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  • The Silent Weapon

    The Silent Weapon

    In today’s world a moment of silence is hard to come by. Be it background noise of the TV or constant notifications from friends or family [on our devices]. Silence has become a foreign concept to us. Even our vocabulary has changed around the concept of silence, terms like Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and hustling are indication that we need to always be on the move or involved in something. If we are not, something is wrong.

    It is important to take note that silence is not merely the absence of noise, it’s also the control and silencing of your own inner voice and thoughts. Imagine tethering a kite to a tree and letting it blow in the wind. When I think of silence I think of that scene, there is still movement, there is still colour there is still life, but it is grounded in something firm and unshakable.

    It is where we reflect on our lives, thoughts, plans and emotions. It is also sometimes what we need to make the right choices.

    As someone who spends a lot of time in silence, for better or worse, I don’t fear it, but I treat it like a mentor that guides me. And it seems that many philosophers in the past have had similar thoughts:

    Friedrich Nietzsche, wrote,

    ‘The noble man honours in himself the powerful one, him also who has power over himself, who knows how to speak and how to keep silence, who takes pleasure in subjecting himself to severity and hardness, and has reverence for all that is severe and hard’.

    Nietzsche implies that true power comes from self-mastery over one’s words and thoughts. It is a space for one to practice their own strength. For Nietzsche, silence represents a break from the dictatorship of language, an opportunity for one to learn when to speak and when to remain silent. To study the world without placing oneself as distraction.

    Similarly, the philosopher Simone Weil wrote

    ‘Our soul makes constant noise, but it has a silent place we never hear’.

    For Weil, in the search for the divine the only place we can find it is in our silence. It is the only time God will not be interrupted in speaking with us because our distractions are put at bay.

    Many times, when we cry silent tears, it holds more emotions and truth then whatever words we can muster up to speak. The purity of silence is that it allows for a free expression that would only ever be limited by words.

    Silence is not Weakness

    One of the most intriguing aspects of silence is how often it is categorised as weakness. If someone does not retort back to defend themselves or to engage in conversations that are untrue, they are seen as being complicit. But they are far from it, they are disengaging from the noise in the world. Sometimes in being well-meaning to find answers, I wonder if we are just giving people the opportunity to justify their actions with inadequate words and resounding noise, that it deafens our moral compass.

    The idea that actions speak louder than words is a phrase we use often but hardly practice.

    Zeno of Citium, shares how silence is a way to prevent yourself from becoming a fool. He writes that

    ‘It is better to trip with the feet than the tongue’.

    His understanding in how many of the world’s fights, wars are aggravated by the tongue, a splash of anger, words and actions that do not think or consider its repercussions.

    Similarly, Jean Paul Sarte recognises that silence has power:

    ‘Every word has consequences. Every silence, too.’

    Silence acts as a signal to others on your stance and position.

    From the perspective of free speech, people should be allowed to say whatever they want, and while free speech is a way one can freely express themselves remaining silent is another less taken path that people can also choose to express themselves freely.

    While it may not be as flashy as speaking your mind, it does hold more wisdom.

     In choosing silence, people can reject overwhelming expectations placed on them by society, or their peers. Silence becomes a deliberate refusal to conform to a world that expects constant output and response.

    Silence as a path to Self

    The idea of silence as an introspective practice is not new. Many Eastern philosophies, especially those found in Buddhism and Hinduism, place great emphasis on the power of silence for self-realization. The practice of meditation has been seen to embrace silence and cultivate inner awareness to achieve enlightenment.

    In the words of Rabbi Akavia

    Silence is a fence around wisdom.

    It often suggests that silence is a protective barrier, preserving wisdom by controlling impulsive speech and allowing time for deeper thought and learning.

    In the end silence helps prevent mistakes, protects the purity and authenticity of wisdom, and allows for the observation and understanding of others. It fosters one’s own growth and thoughtful decision-making.

    A Moment of Silence

    There is a reason when someone passes we are asked to remain silent. Silence brings out the introspective quality of life that we are missing today. I hope after reading this, you will learn to embrace a moment of silence, be it in grabbing a drink alone or sitting at the park bench admiring the sky.

    Find the time to be silent.

    As the poet T.S. Eliot wisely noted, “The greatest proof of silence is the ability to hear it.” In silence, we can find the answers, in what is left unsaid.

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  • Death: An Old Friend

    Death: An Old Friend

    Death is an old friend, that many times we never speak to. It comes in its mystery but is always dependable in its actions. One of my favourite depictions of death and the dead is from Greek mythology when Hades, the god of the underworld, snatches Persephone away down, because that is the characteristic of the death and the underworld. His actions are driven by the domain he rules and the reactions from her mother is not so different from ours ,when death knocks at our door.

    Philosophy on Death

    Death has been an age old question and many philosophers have written extensively on the topic:

    Socrates believed death would either lead to a dreamless sleep or a blank wall (nothingness), or a passage way to another life. But it would be pointless to be fearful, regardless of what death would greet us with.

    The Vedas, views all beings as souls and spiritual in nature, after death a soul is reincarnate, taking birth in another form (Think of it like how hermit crabs find new shells when they outgrow their old ones).

    Plato, believed death opened up the door to an ideal world and from the horses mouth: “I am afraid that other people do not realize that the one aim of those who practice philosophy in the proper manner is to practice for dying and death.” Freeing the idea of the body from the mind (sounds familiar?)

    Epicurus ever the pragmatic, believed death was simply the cessation of sensation-not good or bad. Making it inconsequential to us. He asserted our fear of death was the one thing holding us back from living lives of tranquility and fulfillment.

    The Stoic school of philosophy emerged in 3rd century Greece argued the time to perfect our virtues and live life to the fullest is today—by meditating on our mortality as a reminder that tomorrow might not arrive.

    Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius said:

    “Do not then consider life a thing of any value. For look to the immensity of time behind thee, and to the time which is before thee, another boundless space. In this infinity then what is the difference between him who lives three days and him who lives three generations?” [Meditations, 4.50]

    Sixteenth century French philosopher Michel de Montaigne wrote extensively about being meditative on death, urging the plain and simple premeditation of death as a way to learn how to die: “To begin depriving death of its greatest advantage over us, let us deprive death of its strangeness, let us frequent it, let us get used to it; let us have nothing more often in mind than death.”

    Twentieth century French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre saw death as a reflection of our meaningless existence. ”I think of death only with tranquility, as an end. I refuse to let death hamper life. Death must enter life only to define it.” Which at least opens up the conversation abit more.

    Otto Rank, the first existential therapist, said it best: “some refuse the loan of life to avoid the debt of death.” His solution the idea on the ”courage to be” –developing the strength to love knowing loss, to create knowing destruction, to connect knowing separation.

    Finally, 17th century Dutch philosopher Spinoza believed that when you’re dead, you’re dead … and preferred to focus on the joys of living rather than meditating on The End. Spinoza bought into Socrates’s notion that the unexamined life wasn’t worth living

    Death: Friend or Foe?

    If you are wondering what the answer is (Tough luck I’m clueless too). But I believe the answer may lie in between the ideas of meditating on death and thinking nothing of it.

    Personally, the concept of death was introduced to me early on through my religion. Like others I find comfort in discussing death and having layers to it with the variations of the afterlife.

    As a Christian, a verse I find that treads the ground of both meditating and thinking nothing of death is :

    ‘For me, to live is Christ, to die is gain’ – Philippians 1:21.

    The verse looks at death as a combination of what we read earlier from philosophers. It does not diminish the fact that death will come but it is knowing that you should live for something greater than yourself . The writer, Paul was a man that constantly faced death in his journey. When he wrote this, it was clear his current actions and its purpose, mattered despite staring death in the face. His philosophy of seeing it head on but knowing there is so much more was one of the things that fueled his life ambition.

    I don’t have the answers to death but I do want to leave you with the understanding that maybe there is something in your life be it religion, family, peers or your passion that can help you navigate and converse with your age old friend death.

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  • Idle Idols

    Idle Idols

    The quiet ways we trade our identity away

    The Subtle Shape of Idolatry

    It’s interesting that the word idol sounds so much like idle which means to be useless, inactive, or without purpose. That similarity feels ironic, because many of the idols in our lives do just that, they pull us away from what truly matters and leave us emotionally or spiritually stagnant.

    In our modern world, we often make idols out of the things we love and care about. As a massive comic book fan and someone who enjoys reading, I get excited about adding to my collections be it figurines, statues, or memorabilia that reflect the stories and characters I admire. If I have a book collection, you can bet I’ve either bought or made something that resembles the story and proudly placed it alongside the books in my library.

    But when I talk about idols, I’m not just talking about stuff you collect or decorate your shelves with. I mean how we start embodying what we idolize. Take someone who’s super into politics or social justice, they might change their whole vibe, their tone, even how they dress to fit that narrative. And sometimes, when you talk to them, it’s hard to see who they are beyond that one issue or identity.

    Becoming the things we worship

    Currently, with all the interviews, podcasts, and social media content, there’s a big push to “humanize” public figures like celebrities, politicians, influencers. And honestly, I like the idea behind that. It takes them off the pedestal and reminds us that they are just people. It’s kind of funny when you hear, “Wait, they eat toast like us!” or “They can’t do their own chores!” That whole mystic aura starts to fade, and, in a way, it makes it seem weird to worship them.

    But sometimes, that humanizing effect backfires. Instead of pulling back, people lean in deeper. Because now their “hero” is relatable just a regular person like me and the worship becomes even more intense. The line between admiration and obsession gets blurry fast.

    And that’s what saddens me. You can admire someone, sure. But worshipping them? That says more about us than it does about them. A celebrity wears something—it sells out. They share a political view and suddenly, that’s the right opinion. It’s like we’re outsourcing our thoughts and identity.

    When good things become God things

    We do this with things real or imagined. We trade little parts of ourselves to feel like we belong to something. And to be clear—having interests doesn’t make something an idol. But if it starts dictating your decisions, your time, your emotions? Then yeah, it probably is one.

    For example: I like Batman. I’ve got comics, statues, cute little figurines my friends know it’s my thing. But it doesn’t define me. I don’t talk about it every day. In fact, there’ve been times when I’ve let go of things I loved because I realized they were taking up too much space mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And when something starts pulling me away from the one, I love, it must go.

    Idolatry doesn’t always show up in dramatic ways. One of the more subtle forms I’ve noticed—especially while studying politics—is how people turn ideologies into idols. It’s not about healthy conviction anymore. It becomes moral superiority. And in the process, empathy disappears. People stop listening. They just parrot the opinions that make them feel smart, or safe, or “right.”

    The reflections of Stanley cups

    In a perfect world, our interests would just be accessories, parts of us, but not us. But what I see more often is people “Frankensteining” themselves. Cutting off parts that were once full of life and replacing them with whatever they’re obsessed with.

    It’s not just you who loses something in that process-your family, your friends, your community, they lose you too. You slowly become a shell of who you used to be, shaped more by trends or tribes than truth. The way you think, speak, dress—it starts mirroring what you worship.

    (And if you want a weird but perfect example of how deep this run: look at the Stanley Cup water bottle craze. People camping out, fighting over colours, hoarding ten of them “just in case.” It’s not about hydration anymore. It’s identity. A $40 bottle became a lifestyle badge.)

    The truth is none of us are promised tomorrow. And when that moment comes—when you’re facing the end—your favourite influencer, fictional character, or political hero won’t be there to hold your hand. So, the question becomes: What have we done with the time we were given? Have we spent more of it scrolling and collecting and comparing than connecting with the people who love us?

    That’s the real tragedy of idolatry; it doesn’t just take your time. It takes you and if you are not careful, you won’t even notice you’re gone.

  • The Weight of Years: Clouded eyes, Greying skies

    The Weight of Years: Clouded eyes, Greying skies

    It is often said that the windows are the eyes to a person’s soul. What happens when those eyes are clouded with cataract and blindness? Does the person lose their soul and dignity?

    I want to reflect on the importance of treating and respecting our elders in society. In the past, there was an over emphasis of elders and now in the present, the opposite has occurred. Their thoughts are seen as ‘outdated’, ‘traditional’, ‘archaic’; words that deem them as a fossil of our time, to be buried underneath once they are gone.

    But even fossils are displayed in museums aren’t they? There they provide us an opportunity to study them and learn more about what the past was like and how these relics lived through them.

    Growing Concern

    Older adults are interesting because while there is a global growth of the aging population projecting to hit over 1.4 billion people by 2030, they are plagued with mental, physical and emotional ailments that the vigor of youth can no longer hide.

    This makes them vulnerable the same way children are. However, while children have the veil of innocence around them and have not developed tough skin or keen eyes, our elders have gone past these stages to a point where their skin begins to thin and stretch. Masking pain becomes frustrating when their whole life is seemingly coming to a halting stop before they have even accomplished their dreams and wishes.

    Yet they are seen as burdens to be chucked away at a nursing home. They are told that they should plan for their own future since it’s no one’s duty to care for them. In fact, as life would place it, it would be their responsibility to care for not just themselves but their children and grandchildren throughout their entire life. Can you imagine their thoughts where they know that once their eyes are permanently shut, their ears would hear fights on estate, properties and money.

    In fact, it almost seems kinder for them to pass on younger when their skin is still tough and when they can earn their keep. At least they might be missed, if not for anything but for being a productive member of society.

    Instead, many are forced to endure emotional, physical and financial abuse at the hands of families and strangers. There has been a growing prevalence of elder abuse in society with the WHO, reporting an estimate of 1 in 6 people (15.7%) aged 60 and above being subjected to some form of abuse. As a community, we have forgotten the reverence of elders and their roles in our lives.

    Media and Culture

     In the media we consume, there is always a wise man or woman guiding the protagonist. For instance, in the Disney movie Brother Bear, the shaman woman is the key not just for the protagonist but for the reconciliation and growth of the deuteragonist.

    In Lord of The Rings, Gandalf is played by Ian Mckellen, who is a necessary motivation to ensure middle earth is not lost. Many myths and even religious texts follow such principles, which display the vitality elders in society.

    This prompts the thought of why we struggle to translate this to life.

    Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” (Proverbs 16:31)

    Hard Truths

    The truth is, many times our loved ones are flawed beings that have in some way or form hurt and shattered us. In fact, some older adults still act in selfish and immature ways. How then can someone mask behind the age they hold to have supremacy over others and shrink away from accountability for their actions.

    These are not the ones I am speaking of; in fact, I would implore anyone reading this to help them become better people so that their last days will not be filled with pain and hurt.

    Nevertheless, the world is not black and white and it’s something that I have struggled to accept. I know right from wrong (but my goodness are people complex and terrifying!).

    In The End

    The same can be said about all of us, we have been victims and perpetrators in others’ story. The difference will take place if we are willing to be better. We may be unable to control the other person or the fact that we will continue to be hurt. But at least we can try to restore what we can control and leave the rest to God.

    But one thing is true, there will be a time where we will become old and we will be the ones with archaic ideas, the ones who are senile, the ones who walk too slow and the circle of life will continue its rounds.

    Would we want to be treated in the same way?